the computer indicated she had a message. Frantic and not thinking straight she
automatically assumed it was Robert her hand trembling uncontrollably as she
clicked on her AOL messenger. Cursing she jumped out of her seat when the phone
rang almost giving her a heart attack. Twisting in her chair she grabbed her
cell pressing the answer button without looking at the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Hey there Rosalie I know it’s late but we both know you’re up.
I just messaged you on AOL but I figured it’d be better to call” Bishop Wright’s
deep soothing voice spoke through the phone disappointing her and soothing her
at the same time.
Smiling sadly she’d been stupid she thought to herself as she
clicked on the blinking message confirming it was indeed Bishop Wright that had
just IM’d her. “Hi Bishop Chucky” she greeted him finally not able to quite
cover up the disappointment in her voice but she hopped anyway that he wouldn’t
be able to hear it.
Chuckling for a few seconds “Don’t be so happy to hear from me
Rosalie it’s great for my ego” he laughed again much to her dismay. Getting
serious “you know why I called you seemed really bad today at church I want to
know how you’re doing and no lies” he said
sternly.
Sighing Bishop Wright always seemed to know exactly when to call
her and it always seemed to be when she broke down while checking to see if
Robert got in touch with her finally. She’d known the Bishop for longer then she
could count and he knew her like the back of his hand no, she could never lie to
him. “I don’t know how much more I can take” she said in a quiet voice fresh
tears springing down “it’s been almost three years in a few weeks and nothing. I
haven’t heard from him since the first month he was gone he doesn’t even know he
has a child. When we got married we were supposed to be a team, he tried to
convince me that he did this for us but the truth is he just left me to take
care of everything by myself” her voice turning
bitter.
“No I refuse to let you think like that we both know that Robert
is a good man. I don’t agree with how he did it but everyman understands the
desire to take care of his family. You are a strong woman the Lord has gotten
you this far and he will get you further. I believe in my heart that he will
bring your husband back to and you have to believe that too. No doubts we both
know you’re a woman of faith these are the key moments when you call on them”
Bishop Wright’s words of encouragement made her feel marginally better. “I know
it’s tempting but you can’t torture yourself with checking the computer every
night you can’t handle it Rosalie. This ritual you have going every night isn’t
healthy and you’re not healthy you’re no good to that little boy that needs you”
the compassion in his voice brought even more tears to her
eyes.
“I just fell so alone” she began crying into the phone “and I
miss him so much” she went on allowing herself to finally break down for the
first time since he’d left. “And I’m so damn angry with him it’s always with me
festering and I don’t know what to do with it. It’s so hard being a single
parent and that wasn’t my plan it wasn’t our plan. I get no breaks, no moments
to just exhale to many people count on me…Little Robert, my Mother, even
Robert’s mother needs help these days. Thank god I at least get his checks every
month or we would all be on the street. The only chance I get to try to get a
moment is on Sundays when we go to church and that’s become a dread. No
disrespect to you Bishop…but it’s the stares and whispers people don’t know why
he’s been gone for so long without contact they’ve gossiped, and the ones that
know the whole story give me no peace. You say I’m a woman of faith but Bishop I
think I lost it and I don’t even know when. I’ve cried and prayed and meditated
to God and have gotten no answer. I’m a good person, I follow rules, I honor my
mother, I go to church what did I do that he thought I deserved to go through
this…” her heartbreaking sobs cut off the rest of what she was going to say as
she put her head down on the desk with the phone still to her ear.
Sighing wearily it was in moments like these that broke his
heart that he wished he had all the answers that he wished he could just
magically fix it… but alas that wasn’t the way of the world if it was people
like him wouldn’t be needed. “Child I want you listen to me okay” he tried to
talk over her sobs wishing either he or his wife where there to comfort her this
moment was a long time coming he hated that she was alone when it happened. “Are
you listening?” he asked again after a few minutes when her sobs subsided a bit
to a manageable level.
“Y…yes I’m listening Bis…Bishop” she answered through her
tears.
“YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I want you to understand that. You have
family, friends, and more importantly you have God. God doesn’t allow good or
bad things to happen he’s given us free will to decide that all on our own. But
sometimes you have to go through tests and trails and no one knows the reason
and while you’re going through things can sure look bleak but I’ll tell you
this. If you just trust God a show some faith there’s a major blessing for you
on the other end…cause that’s really the true test within ourselves if you can
trust him when everything is dark and nothing in life makes sense. He wouldn’t
put more on you then you can handle even if that’s what it seems right now and
when you are feeling that way you come to me or someone you trust and we’ll talk
just like we’re doing now”.
Sniffling as she wiped her tears a smile finally broke out on
her face as she listened to Bishop Wright’s words and began to feel a little
better. “Your right I’ll do just that. Thank you for calling me. You always seem
to know just when I need you” she confessed.
“No God knows that I just follow his orders child” he answered
“It’s getting late now and you need your rest. Get away from the computer and go
to bed okay”
“Yes sir I will”.
“Good, good I love you more then you love me Rosalie” he told
her softly hanging up the phone.
“Love
you too Bishop” Rosalie spoke to the phone softly putting it back on its cradle
as she shut the computer off forcing herself not to check her three
messages